|Me on 12th July 2013-9 days before Ophelia was born. I kinda miss that bump!?|
This time last year I awoke in the morning and thought something was different, something was happening, labour was coming- contractions were happening. It really is difficult for me to comprehend that A WHOLE YEAR has gone by since then. It is an awful cliche but I now understand why; children really are magicians with time- it disappears and leaves you forever questioning how it happened.
It has been without a doubt a ridiculously tough and emotional year, which I only now feel has plateaued- I would say "have come out the other side of" but I'm always reluctant to say such things because anything could happen and set the world of kilter again Good things to have come out of the past year include:
-My self awareness and acceptance. I feel like I have turned a page with how I see myself and how I like what I see, both inside and out. I have always been the type of person who strives to better themselves and is their best, I've not been at my best throughout this year and I had to find a way to be okay with that and let it wash over me. An example of this is my love for exercise; since going back to work I have done very little exercise and this makes me quite upset, however it's not something I have been able to change so i've had to remember there are definitely more important things for me to worry about. As well, whilst it is frustrating and I hate that I don't look how I want to, I tr to remind myself to just get through this initial period and things will become easier.
-Resilience. I feel more resilient to certain situations that I would previously struggled with, and I honestly believe this is down to one key moment; the moment when I heard the midwives discussing prepping me for surgery (emergency Ceasarean) but told me to give it one last go pushing and I apparently astounded them by showing a new strength they didn't think I had left. This, and getting through labour with little pain relief, showed me i'm more resillient than I thought I was, and when I put my mind to it.
-I've learnt to (kind of) function on very small amounts of sleep.
-I've learnt to be more productive with my time (i.e. squeeze more into little time).
-I've lost the guilt of being more boundaried with my time (i.e. not trying to squeeze socialising in on a school night when I don't feel up to after a stressful day).
-Working from home- this has made such a massive difference to my stress levels, for which I am thankful!
-Moving into a bigger home which has very quickly been well received by both cat and baby!